25 Days of Unconventional Christmas Movies – Day 25

Day 25 – Die Hard
And finally the king of Unconventional Christmas Movies. Filled with the classics of Yuletide cheer. Egg nog, office Holiday parties, and trying to wriggle your way through ventilation ducts that have no business sustaining your weight. Yipee-ki-yay Father Christmas.

Christmas Lesson
The best way to patch up a rocky relationship is the adrenaline fueled rush of a terrorist threat. And if you need to relax from a cross country take off your shows and make fists with your feet. Just make sure to put your shoes back on before any funny business goes down.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas Movies – Day 24

Day 24 – Gremlins
Are you afraid of Spielberg movie puppets? Then this movie is not for you. For those of you that don’t then you are in for a treat. Perfect for a cautious tale for the you opening up presents the next morning.

Christmas Lesson
Follow the instructions for your Christmas presents. If you are told not to feed something after midnight…..DON’T FEED IT AFTER MIDNIGHT. PERIOD.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas Movies – Day 23

Day 23 – Edwards Scissorhands
Before he had a nightmare Tim Burton introduced a beloved unconventional Christmas movie in the form of a scissorhanded weirdo named Edward. And so started America’s love affair with Johnny Depp. 

Christmas Lesson
Don’t judge a book by its cover. It’s what is on the inside that counts. But under circumstantial evidence and hearsay persecute the only one who looks a little different. On the bright side if you get snow on the west coast it might be Edward doing his ice sculpting, because he is now stuck in a castle and straight up bored.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas – Day 22

Day 22 – Lethal Weapon
Riggs and Murtaugh. One of cinema’s most beloved buddy cop duos met at Christmas. And the friendship would last through 3 more movies over the next 9 years. And Murtaugh was “too old” when he started. Now that’s something to think about.

Christmas Lesson
Need cocaine? Why not try the local Christmas tree lot. And when you catch the bad guy make sure that even though the guy is going to jail to have a round of fisticuffs before making the official arrest. Ooooh oooh oooh and bring a helicopter to use as a spotlight. Let’s admit this last scene is pretty ridiculous.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas – Day 21

Day 21 – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
We all know that Santa visits all the little boys and girls on Chrismtas Eve, but he only accounts for Earth. What of the children of Mars? Don’t they deserve a little fun in the middle of Septober?

Christmas Lesson
Children deserve a little break from the rigidity of their learning life to have fun. Oh yeah and take a few moments out of your day to laugh for uncomfortable amounts of time. Apparently that’s what Santa does, even if his life is in danger.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas – Day 20

Day 20 – Silent Night Deadly Night
What happens when a young boy has the same experience as Bruce Wayne, but instead of a random thug it’s a man in a Santa suit? Do you get Santaman? Striking fear into the criminals of the North Pole? No……You get a killer in a Santa Claus suit.

 Christmas Lesson
If you’re naughty you’ll be punished with extreme prejudice. If you’re nice you’ll be given the gift of evidence for a future murder trial. On top of that don’t wear a Santa suit in public it doesn’t turn out well for anybody.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas – Day 19

Day 19 – Go
We’re going to party like it’s 1999. You know what that means: The music of Fatboy Slim, Len, Eagle Eye Cherry, and No Doubt. Taking ecstasy at an underground rave. And Katie Holmes being relevant. 

Christmas Lesson
This movie shows a direct correlation between how one behaves and punishment. Push fake pills on both a drug dealer and unsuspecting youths and you might get hit by a car. Let a suspect now they are being watched and maybe you have to listen to an Amway pitch. Okay, maybe some punishments are worse than others.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas Movies – Day 18

 Day 18 – Eyes Wide Shut
Stanley Kubrick’s final also takes place at Christmas. Did he know that this would be his last? Is that why it takes place in the final month of the year? I’ve been watching too much Room 237.

Christmas Lesson
The film is a cautionary tale about peeking at your Christmas presents early. If you sneak behind your loved one’s back in anticipation the consequences can be dire. So remember kids, wait until Christmas to open your gifts.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas Movies – Day 17

Day 17 – Legion
Pregnant single mother. Check. Angels coming down from the heavens. Check. Old lady eating raw meat while spouting the apocalypse. Only at Christmas.

Christmas Lesson
Be prepared for the upcoming Christmas apocalypse. One of these years you may have to mow down leagues and leagues of possessed people because God feels done with us. What will save you will be blind faith and puppy love.

25 Days of Unconventional Christmas Movies – Day 16

Day 16 – Hebrew Hammer
Shalom to my Jewish brothers and sisters. Today’s Christmas movie is more of a Hanukkah movie. Andy Dick plays Santa Claus who is trying to destroy Hanukkah. I don’t think I need to explain any further. 

Christmas Lesson
Be tolerant of other faiths during the holidays. Happy Holidays is a completely appropriate saying at Christmastime. Santa himself thinks it’s fine, but that may have been what killed him. All I’m saying is don’t trust Andy Dick.